There are hundreds of ‘penpal’ sites, introduction agencies and lonely hearts sites on the web nowadays. Many of these showcase Filipinas, as well as women from Latin America and the former Soviet Union. This article is not about the moral or ethical side of this industry (and it is an industry in more ways than one) but about how you could become involved in it in an ethical and moral way.
The reality is that people are out there looking for each other. We will discuss why in depth another time. Let’s look at the introduction agency. Until the IMBRA law was introduced in the USA a few years ago (International Marriage Brokers Act) many sites charged the man a fee to belong and to get the details of the women members so they could correspond. The view was to meet, marry and live happily ever after. However some men (and some women) abused this and lured unsuspecting partners to their graves in extreme cases and horrible lives of virtual slavery in others. Not all and no doubt a very tiny minority but even one sad story is one too many.
The Philippines government introduced a law to prohibit the running of introduction agencies from the Philippines however providing you did not promise marriage and did not charge the female a fee you were not breaking the law. All the same most people didn’t trust the local judicial system enough to risk it. Those introduction agencies that offered Filipina names and addresses were often run by Filipina wives of Americans, living in the USA. These went from catalogues mailed to the man (hence the term ‘mail-order-bride) and required months of patient snail mail correspondence to the instant gratification of email and online viewing of photos and details (her profile). It also meant that the Filipina could become more pro-active and hunt for a ‘kano’ to call her own.
This technological advance gave unscrupulous people the chance to abuse the system and make money or take other advantages. Men could lure women to their home country and abuse them as sex slaves, Filipinas (and all too often Filipino transsexuals posing as women) could induce men to send them money under false pretenses. The IMBRA law was tagged onto other legislation and passed late at night prior to a holiday and was brought about by the tragic deaths of two women from Russia, not the Philippines. While no one can condone such abuse, the law while well intentioned has been unfairly passed and applied. Large web sites such as yahoo are exempt as while they do have many foreign members, they are not exclusively about introducing foreigners to Americans. Religious sites are exempt due to the power of the religious lobby no doubt and so many sites have suddenly become ‘Christian Dating’ sites.
Basically the law requires the web site to ensure the American supplies full personal particulars to any foreign member (such as financial and criminal records, full address etc) BEFORE they are able to open correspondence. When the couple finally decide to marry the fiance is questioned by Immigration if the law was complied with and if not then they will not be granted a K1 visa. Or a K3 if they married overseas. It is no doubt well intentioned but it is a recipe for disaster and it forces otherwise law abiding people to lie and find ways around the situation or open you up for identity theft or worse.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. For those living overseas who want a Filipina partner, simply come here on vacation and travel around. Read ‘Filipina 101-How To Meet The Filipina of Your Dreams’ for all the information you need to know about how to correspond or meet her in the mall. It also tells you how to detect a scammer and how to avoid her as well as new information on chat cam scams.
But if you live in the Philippines and wish to make a living helping other people find happiness together, this is how I would do it. First of all you must have your Asawa on your side. She is vital as she will be the one to choose and vet the Filipinas. You will find and vet the Kanos. You need only about ten local girls from your Asawa’s home barangay. Relatives and girls she knows personally. Girls she knows do not have current boyfriends and she knows if they have babies or husbands or any of the other surprises that can be launched on the unsuspecting Kano.
Then you set up a web site offering a guided vacation in a barangay locale where the holiday maker can meet real Filipinas and learn about the culture and the community with no pressure or obligation to make any promises at all. For all the details of how to set up a business in the Philippines, check out ‘Making A Living- The Streetwise Philippines Guide To Employment, Business and Investing’. You meet the holiday maker at the airport and guide them to the barangay, arrange their accommodation and site seeing and act as a friend and guide for a set period. During that time you introduce them to the vetted girls in a casual, relaxed family BBQ type situation and let things take a natural course.
You promise only this:
You will meet the client at the airport and guide them to the locale.
You will show them the local sites and hold a BBQ in their honour at which several local Filipinas will be present.
All of the Filipinas will be known to you or your Asawa and in your opinion be genuine and not already married (unless stated).
You will escort the client back to the airport or wherever you both agree to ‘release’ him.
No promises of marriage are made and no online introductions are made so neither sets of laws are infringed, US or Filipino. You charge a modest fee for your time and costs and only from the guest. I would suggest US$100 a day depending on costs and length of visit. You could charge a two day minimum with half in advance (give a receipt) and be clear about your trading and refund terms. Be professional and fair and you will be surprised at how you attract more people of the same nature than bad ones.
Be aware there are some unscrupulous people offering similar services already. They have slick web sites and convincing text but they take the deposit and then fail to produce the service. If you are active on the Yahoo groups for expats and people interested in the Philippines then you will build up a clientele that can vouch for you; word of mouth and reputation is crucial to long term success in this country as anywhere. This idea of mine is for a service that helps Kano and Filipina find each other. You facilitate the possibility only. No promises are made and for $100 the Kano can’t complain if he was shown a slice of real Filipino barangay life not usually experienced by tourists and then sent safely on his way. A date with an American woman will set him back more than that.
Be diligent and find genuine Filipinas. Devise a set of questions to ascertain the bona fides of the Filipina and the Kano and after a while you can sort the wheat from the chaff. Deliver as promised and keep in mind this is a customer focused service. Most Kanos who will pay for this service tend to be genuine in their endeavours to find a Filipina they can trust. The scum tend to know it all already and have their own Modus Operandi. The customer helps you live in the Philippines so take good care of him and ask for referrals.
If one of the girls turns out to be a scammer, deal with it. If the Kano turns out to be less than genuine, again, deal with it. Problems occur in all business ventures, the secret is how you deal with them. Always aim for a Win/Win/Win outcome. Thats the Kano, the Filipina and you all being winners. It can be done and in the long run it is far more lucrative than the rip off or scam could ever be.
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